Sitting here in Limbo

Sitting here in Limbo

But I know it won’t be long

Sitting here in Limbo

Like a bird without a song.

Well, they’re putting up a resistance,

But I know that my faith will lead me on.

Sitting here in Limbo

Waiting for the dice to roll.

Yeah, now, sitting here in Limbo,

Got some time to search my soul.

Well, they’re putting up a resistance,

But I know that my faith will lead me on.

I don’t know where life will take me,

But I know where I have been.

I don’t know what life will show me,

But I know what I have seen.

Tried my hand at love and friendship,

That is past and gone.

And now it’s time to move along.

Jimmy Cliff. Sitting here in limbo.

It has been almost two months since I applied for my work visa in Australia, and according to the immigration lawyer, it could take another couple of months for it to be processed. My contract starts this week – I don’t think I will make it on time. 

Some call it karma, others fate. “Who knows,” my yoga instructor said, “maybe there is a reason why you are not meant to leave just yet.” Well, the backlog at the Australian Immigration Office is definitely one of them. 

One of the benefits of sitting in limbo, waiting for my visa, is that I get to spend time with friends and say goodbye…again and again. Until they get tired of it and tell me to get out of here.

On one of these visits, a friend gave me a farewell gift over poutine and ice-cold coke. Small in size, but immeasurable in value and meaning to me.

In a small turquoise velvety bag, I found a silver medallion shaped like a teardrop. Simple in design, a silver line draws the shape of a veiled woman – the Madonna. I turned the pendant around, where I saw a silver clasp that could work as a small stand for the piece or a clip to attach to a necklace. Almost invisible to the eye, I read the words Tiffany and the designer’s name, Elsa Peretti. 

Overwhelmed by the simple beauty of the piece and its apparent value, my first reaction was to return the gift to my friend, as I did not feel like I could accept it. The little story my friend told me then, the meaning this medallion had for her, made me accept the gift and what it symbolized to her.

“It is a form of a guardian angel. Someone to watch over you. Because if anyone needs protection right now, it is you!”

Originally designed as a First Communion present, the Madonna was created in 1990. The designer Elsa Peretti wrote about the piece: 

‘Maybe it was a feeling of being protected that gave rise to my need to design a Madonna. As a child, I had a little gold chain, given to me by my grandmother the day I was born. But then I lost it and wore no more symbols of religion around my neck. When I decided to design a Madonna, I visualized the little medal lost such a long time before. Bit by bit, as I carved the wood and ivory, a line began to emerge, giving me a feeling of protection which symbolized my Catholic religion……The true meaning is the soul of the small object you wear, whatever your religion.’

Elsa Peretti. ‘Fifteen of my Fifty with Tiffany & Co’, New York, F.I.T. 1990

I received a golden bracelet with my name engraved on it when I was born. For my First Communion, I got a soccer ball. I have lost both of them since.

However,  I still have small items that mean very much to me because they tell a story. Someone else’s story. And now my story. We fall in love with the little things somebody loves about the world: a song, a book, an object.

The first time I left home to live abroad in 1985, my mother gave me a little pig made of solid gold metal. No Madonna, by all means, this little figurine stood for just the same. It was meant to look over, protect, and be with me when my mother couldn’t. I have carried this little golden pig with me all over the world. Had in my wallet in four different continents. Recently I got it a little friend – a small golden kiwi from New Zealand. The two get along great in my wallet. At least, that’s what I hope. 

They symbolize the place I come from, my mother’s love, and her protection no matter where I am at the moment. And my love and desire for new places and adventures. The Ying and the Yang of life. The pig and the kiwi of mine.  As Elsa Peretti put it so well, “the true meaning (behind anything) is the soul of the small object you wear”. 

Another farewell gift I received from a dear group of friends this summer was a necklace with two rings interlinked. “Connections big and small, new and old” the description of this beautiful piece of jewellery read.

To me, the true meaning of these two golden rings, however, is the push and pull of life. One ring symbolizes what I am doing now and here (other than waiting), the other my desire to do something new.

“When I look around, many of my pulls have somehow turned into pushes and I haven’t learned to let them go in time. I have been hanging on for dear life onto things that were no longer making me happy. But I didn’t want to let go, because I had been planning them and wanting (the idea of) them for a long time. I didn’t want to let go, because that would have meant defeat, admitting I had possibly made a huge mistake, a wrong turn, and the thought of that was devastating.

So instead I kept on pushing, while I was getting more and more exhausted, irritated and frankly intolerable in the end.

Time to reevaluate. I very well know the difference between the push and the pull, and I know you do, too. Push is heavy and sticky, and pull is exciting and joyful. Pull is something that has most likely been with us for some time now, something we keep brushing off because “it doesn’t pay the bills” or “it’s plain silly.“

But the truth is, if we want to become truly successful at anything we do, there needs to be this pull -energy behind it. There has to be joy,  excitement and motivation from within.

Otherwise, what’s the point?”

(Life as we know it. Do you feel a push or pull?)

The other day, a friend of mine asked me what exactly I was looking for? Why I wanted to go back to Australia. After a moment of silence, she answered her own question: Because it makes you happy, right? Bingo!

And so I have replaced the Chinese Happiness pendant that my mother bought for me at the Bird Market in Hong Kong in 1997 with a new story to wear around my neck. 

And I added the silver medallion to my collection in my wallet –  I think the three will make a great team! I just hope they don’t get bored waiting for that visa with me!

Cheers!

We fall in love

With the little things

Somebody loves 

About the world

Like music,

Rainy days,

Or peanut butter sandwiches – 

And it doesn’t matter

What they are,

It’s just that they love them

And that makes us happy.

Atticus