Two Stars and a Wish

Sail on, silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh if you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

Simon and Garfunkel. Bridge Over Troubled Water

It’s a Wednesday afternoon. School is almost over. My class is sitting in a circle on the classroom carpet. Tired faces. All of us exhausted and ready to go home. We have just returned from an all-day excursion to the Sydney Harbour Bridge. A whole day of outdoor fun and sun, wind, and walking. Lots and lots of walking. Five km that felt like fifty at least. Against the wind.

To end the day on a good note, we do a round of “Two stars and a wish” – What did you like about this day? What we could have been better. And finally, something for that you were grateful.

“I had fun playing in the park!”, “I liked walking across the bridge!”, “I liked the gummy worms in my lunch bag!” Sometimes we find happiness in the most simple things. Some children pass as they cannot think of anything positive to say. Maybe they are just too tired. Perhaps they really can’t. We are working on that.

“What did you wish for?” I ask, and plenty of fingers shoot up: That we didn’t have to walk so far (2 km over the bridge and 2 km back), that we didn’t have to walk at all. That others weren’t so mean. That they were more gummies in the lunch bag. Wishing for things seems to be much easier for some students.

And finally, the tough one: What are you grateful for? Many students simply pass, as they can’t think of anything they thought was cool. Exciting. Awesome. It’s kind of sad. “I am grateful for rolling down the hill.” “Thank you for my friends!” and, of course, “Thank you for gummy worms!”

Two-stars-and-a-wish is something we practice quite often in class. For giving feedback, self-assessment, and focusing more on the positive in general. It’s a work in progress.

So how about my own two stars and a wish? It’s been a bit of a rough week with parent interviews, being sick in bed with tonsillitis and laryngitis, tired and sore, and a bit lonely. Not really being able to swallow, I had to survive on applesauce and hot tea. I’m not complaining… well, maybe a little. Just like my students, it’s easier to get hung up on the bad stuff. The wishes, the things we would have liked to be different.

Yet, in between painkillers and throat lozenges, there were so many little and big stars that were shining quietly, waiting for me to be discovered.

The friend that came by announced to drop off another load of applesauce. The cozy apartment I am staying in, thanks to the generosity of my boss. My team teacher, who picked up the slack and covered for me at the parent interviews. The memories of Book Week fun at school and the prospect of Spring Break starting soon. The public holiday that got announced to mourn the Queen (albeit three days after her funeral – but I’m not complaining!). Friends near and far checking in on me. All the little stars I am grateful for.

And then there were the big stars – the giants and supergiants. Sparkling and shining brightly, once I felt a bit better and was able to leave my bed again. We went on a trip to a former colleague’s farm two hours from here – a mini girl’s road trip with a bottle of coke from the gas station, two dogs in the trunk, and a rooster in his cage on the back bench. The bird had been banned from school for crowing too much and so we were taking it back to its birthplace. The poor thing looked like it was being shipped off to boarding school. And sure enough, once we dropped him off in the chicken coop with various hens and rooster strutting around, he got attacked by the “big chicks” on the block that started picking at his precious head feathers – chicken coop bullying at its finest. We left the poor bird standing at the mesh wire fence with a look on his face saying: “Wait! Don’t leave me here! I promise I will never ever crow again.” A wish made too late – no more room for improvement in the poor roster’s case.

Dressing up for Book Week, joining a new neighbourhood book club, and of course, our class trip to Sydney Harbour Bridge. A perfect day of being outside with the kids all day, exploring the city, and experiencing what we had learned about bridges in class in real life. My favourite moment – watching my students sit quietly on the grass of Observatory Hill Park, a scrapbook in their labs and a pencil in their small sticky hands, trying to draw this iconic structure. Even after all these years, teaching sometimes still gives me butterflies.

However, my biggest stars – my hypergiants- the thing I am most grateful for are the people around me: my friends.

“When you’re in middle age, which I am, you start to realize how much you need your friends. They are the flora and fauna in life that hasn’t had much diversity because you have been so busy – so relentlessly, stupidly busy – with middle-age things: kids, house, spouse, and everyday life. The more hours you’ve put into this chaotic business of living, the more you crave a quieter, more nurturing third thing. Friendships are the rare kind of relationships that remain forever available to us as we age.”

Jennifer Senior. It’s the friends that break your heart.

Moving back to Australia may have cost me a few friendships. Other friendships are just not the same anymore. But while I was lying in bed, quietly drooling onto my boss’s pillow, I realized that my friends are my two stars and my wish: I like my friends. I wish they were always around. And I am grateful for each one of them. Near and far.

Cheers!