A weird long black with a splash of white

.“G’day!”

I got this.

“Hello. Ow ya goin’.” The barista behind the small coffee shop counter smiles at me.

“Fine. Thank you! One large coffee with cream please.”

“Pardon?”

I hesitate.

“Uhm. May I have a large coffee with some cream?”

“A coffee?”

“Yes! A coffee!” I’m pointing at the stack of large paper cups in front of me.

“A large coffee.”

“What kind of coffee?”

“Uhm. Just a regular coffee please. With cream. Behind me a line is beginning to form.

“Ah, you mean a black. A long black? Or a short black? Or a flat white?”

My flight instinct is kicking in.

“Black. A tall, uh, long black please. With cream.”

“You mean milk?”

“Yes please.” Finally we are getting somewhere. I am very aware of the line up behind me getting longer. The locals are enjoying this.

“”Oh, so just a long black with a dash of milk. Or a splash?”

I nod. “A splash is fine.” I gave up on the cream.

“Skinny or regular?”

“Yes!”

“Oh ok!” The barista smiles. “So yours is a weird long black with a splash of milk!”

“Yes. A weird one please.” How did she figure me out so quickly?

“No worries. 4 dollars 50 please.”

“Could you…? I surrender my open wallet to the friendly lady. The crowd behind me is silently cheering. Small steps. Finding the right coins is for another day.

“Perfect. Here you go. A weird long black with a splash of white! Hooroo!”

The unexpected.

I mean, I have my preconceptions. We all do. The things we expect. What will happen when I move to Australia. The beaches. The surfers. Cars driving on the other side. Spiders.

I am sure I have offended people who actually have been to Australia with my stereotypes. I apologize.

But then there is the unexpected. Things I did not see coming. Like getting a coffee. Who knew that ordering a cuppa would be this hard. I actually went online to figure out the right terminology. Wrote it down on a little piece of paper. Still got it wrong. By now they know me. “A weird one?”

It’s been almost a week in Downunder and there are so many unexpected.

The sound of the kookaburras laughing in the trees (they must have heard about my coffee order fiasco).

The smell of menthol cigarettes when they trim the eucalyptus trees on the side of the road.

The sight of the most amazing colourful bushes in bloom. People must think I’m crazy – or mad, I should say, for stopping to smell the flowers.

The feeling of everyone smiling at you, wishing you a “G’day!” I have yet to meet a frowning Australian. Someone explained to me: “Of course – frowning in the Australian sun would only lead to wrinkles!” Makes sense.

The taste of custom made coffee in the morning. A weird one with a splash of white.