Rookie Mistake

I have a friend. His name is Josh. I’ve never met Josh, yet we talk almost daily. Josh is 7. Josh loves animals. Especially exotic ones. And he has chosen me to feed his obsession.

Josh is my friend’s grandson. One day he got a hold of her phone and this is how it all started. An innocent text, asking if I had seen any animals in Australia yet. I hadn’t really. Other than my neighbour’s chicken.

Chicken?

I could tell, Josh was not impressed. When you expect kangaroos or gigantic spiders, chicken just won’t do.

Anything else?

Not really. It was winter still. Animals were dormant. I had a feeling, Josh wouldn’t accept this logical explanation as an excuse.

In my head I was desperately trying to remember other animal sightings that had occurred during my oh-so-short stay so far in Down under.

            A cockroach?

Indeed I almost had stepped on one in my apartment the other night.

            Ok.

If I had nothing else to offer, a cockroach would do. Any photos?

No, no photos.

Cockroaches don’t have the patience for the perfect insta moment. Neither did I – not when it comes to cockroaches. Plus, I don’t think it would have gotten me many clicks anyway.

Hey, did you like my roach photo the other day? #nofilter

A few days went by until the next text message arrived.

Any more animals?

It was Josh. I felt myself breaking out in sweat.

A bird! I had seen a bird.

The frown on Josh’s face was palpable through the phone.

            A bird? What kind of bird?

Gosh, gee. I don’t know. A white one. With a funny yellow feather crest on his head. Big. Super loud. Especially in the morning, when you could still sleep a little longer.

So I googled the bird. For Josh. A sulphur-crested cockatoo, I messaged him. Nice pic attached. He seemed happy for a while.

Until I received yet another inquiry from my young friend. This time in the form of a voice message.

What other animals?

His distorted voice message enriched by an army of animal emojis.

I have to admit, at that moment I contemplated lying to Josh. Making up some great story of the kangaroo that carried me on his back to school and the crocodile I had to fight on my way home.

            I saw a possum!

Wasn’t even a lie. Well, only a partial lie since I had only seen a possum’s tail above my head while sitting on my verandah.

This is what you have to look for!

Josh offered his help, sending me a picture of a kangaroo.

            I know, Josh! I’m trying hard here!

Even the cute picture of me dressed up as the Gruffalo wouldn’t appeased him. What to do when you can’t deliver. I thought about ghosting my little friend. Ignoring his messages until I could give him a satisfactory answer. But that didn’t seem right. Poor Josh – I had nothing!

UNTIL TODAY!!!

A snake. A real snake. A big one too. Looked a bit like a dead tire, but still. Josh would be so happy with me! I needed a photo. A good one. A close up. For Josh!

The animal had been sighted during first recess next to the Primary playground and the word spread quickly in the teacher staff room. This was my chance!

So I took my coffee cup, my phone and bravely went to said location to get a good look at  my first snake. Maybe I should say naively. Definitely enthusiastically though. This was going to be great!

 The first thing I saw close to the bamboo hedge bordering on the playground, was a Eastern Water Skink sitting in the grass. Well, I thought it was a lizard, but I’m happy to learn. So that was cool – quick photo for Josh, and my eyes continued searching for the object of desire.

And there it was – a Red Belly Black Snake, sunbathing on a rock right next to the playground, not moving at all. Generously posing for my first ever snake photo shoot. POISONOUS  snake photo shoot, I should  learn later. Which, in hinesight, made the whole thing ridiculously dumb and dangerous, actually. While this snake’s bite wouldn’t have killed me, it would have made me seriously ill. And that would not have been worth it. Not even for my friend Josh.

What I learned today? That there is a certain protocol you should follow, when seeing a snake in Australia:

1 Don’t approach it !! (Well, I certainly didn’t follow that advice!)

2 Back away QUIETLY – don’t scream or run around (Ok, I might have skipped away, but only out of pure joy over this amazing insta-moment!)

3 Tell a teacher !! (I AM the teacher lol)

4 Stay away -don’t go and look for it again ! ( Didn’t have to, thanks to the awesome pic on my phone).

In the end, all is good. I might have been daring or stupid or naive, or all of the above, and I certainly learned my lesson about showing respect for Australia’s wildlife. But I also have the perfect picture to send to my friend Josh. I haven’t heard from him since – maybe I finally made him happy. And that made it all worth it!